In Training...

Thanks to all who offered sage advice and support. Sometimes a little reassurance that you're not being unreasonable in your expectations is crucial to stop that self-doubt niggling away at your confidence and happiness.

He thinks he sees a little better. I'm not sure quite what that means, but it's a start. He understands that I don't need to do what I do and he's starting to realise what those things are. Although, as Meesha points out, even after many years it seems that our partners struggle to fully appreciate the demands and expectations we must live with and live up to. To those who understand better than others: can you come explain it to my partner 'cos sometimes I think we're speaking different languages?

I suspect one of the hardest things for him is to listen to me complain about the way I'm treated when he feels that he's been working really hard not to take me for granted. He sits in silence and takes it until eventually it gets too much and he gets upset enough to let it all out at once in an explosion of hurt and anger and misunderstanding. Then he climbs back into his cave and it takes much love and chocolate to entice him out again. He knows he has to talk things through to make them better, but he's a man and not very comfortable talking about his feelings. Plus he feels hurt and unappreciated that his efforts have failed.

He is, however, beginning to understand that buying me flowers unexpectedly and showering me in love, while wonderful and appreciated, is no substitute for basic human respect from his children. And the ability to stay in my own house without being bullied.

So now he's reading 'The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man etc'. I don't know how much it'll help, but I think it does make a difference seeing how the same situations make others feel the same way I do. Thus diminishing my status as neurotic, unreasonable, demanding female.

Well, diminishing the 'unreasonable', anyway ;)