Saturday 27 September 2008

How Do I Make Him See?

Jason doesn't understand. Anything. I've been trying to explain how I feel - taken for granted, left out, ignored, hurt, insulted, unappreciated. He doesn't get it.

He sees that I don't have to do what I do. But he doesn't think I do much. He doesn't see that welcoming people into my home half the time who are rude and nasty to me, then paying half the rent for the house I'm not welcome in, half the food for 4 people, tidying up after them, cooking and washing up when required, entertaining when required, helping with homework, buying gifts then making myself scarce when not wanted whilst always being nice, never complaining in front of anyone, never telling anyone off, never being short or angry or upset in front of anyone; and all this with no say in what goes on in what is supposed to be my house - no say in when the kids come over or for how long, how they get to treat me, what they do, most of the time no warning even... He doesn't think that amounts to anything.

Does it really not? If it doesn't then what's wrong with me that I feel like this?

And if it does amount to something - how do I get him to see?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Easy. Stop doing nice things for them. Let Jason clean up after the kids. Let Jason cook for them. If you pay rent, you're a roommate, not a doormat.

Smirking Cat said...

I'm confused what he thinks is "normal" about letting his kids be rude to you, or expecting you to pick up half the tab but then be treated like crap. I have to agree with Mean Stepmom: step back, let go, and let him handle things then. If he doesn't think you do that much, well, it shouldn't be too much for him to pick up then!

Meesha said...

I completely know how you feel. Even after three years,I suspect my fiance still doesn't cpmpletely get how much energy (both emotional and physical) goes into being a stepmother.

I agree with Mean Stepmom--you pay the rent, you're the partner, and you're the adult--not a doormat.